When those we’ve hurt are not able or willing to accept our amends, we can still move in a positive general direction by taking intentional steps to be of service to others or making living amends. I am very sorry for stealing money out of your desk in order to fund my drug habit last year. Remembering how I stole from living amends you makes me sad and fills me with shame. While I did these things in active addiction, that does not take away from how wrong they were, and the pain and sense of betrayal you must have felt as a result of my actions. The spiritual purpose of making amends is to find inner peace, freedom, release, and rebirth.
- We must do these things if we hope to experience the promises listed on pages 83/84 in the Big Book (Into Action).
- The good news is that you can rebuild bridges over time with some insight and effort.
- A high-end 51-acre facility treating addiction and co-occurring mental health with evidence-based care, physical wellness, strong alumni community, and family involvement.
- Eventually you will find you are making amends day by day through the positive actions you routinely take in living by Twelve Step principles.
- They may visit family members and friends more often, set aside time to spend with their partner or donate their time to a worthy cause.
What Is Step 9 of the 12-Step Program?
This lets them know that you are sincerely sorry for your behavior and any pain that you’ve caused them. It most likely will not be nearly enough for them to begin trusting you right away, but it is a start. If your relationships have been strained or destroyed due to drinking or addiction issues, keep in mind that there are ways you can rebuild your relationships as you walk your road in recovery. It’s pretty common for loved ones to be casualties when it comes to an alcoholic’s behavior, so know that others have certainly been in your shoes. The good news is that you can rebuild bridges over time with some insight and effort. The program and this step made me see that it was their own doing; they made the choice.
Rehab Riviera: Addiction fraud charges filed…
Before approaching Step 9, you need to complete the inventory in Step 8. This is a list of all of the people in your life whom you believe you have harmed. It can be a challenging list to write, even for those who want to embrace forgiveness and inner peace—but the list is important. It represents many of the feelings and struggles you’ve had. By working through the list in Step 9 and making amends to each person named there, you will restore a piece of yourself with each conversation. Thankfully we are given some insight in to how to make amends through steps 8 and 9.
- Before approaching Step 9, you need to complete the inventory in Step 8.
- The benefit of making amends to the recovering person does not outweigh the need to do any more harm.
- For example, maybe you stole money from your grandmother, but she has past on.
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Book
This is particularly true if you’ve been out of contact or have reason to question whether it is appropriate to make your desired amends. Someone liked enough by mere contact with you may be best served by no additional contact. The complexity of individual situations is why consulting with sponsors and professionals can assist greatly in your recovery process. Undoubtedly, you, too, have a list of ways in which you want to live out your living amends, and that’s great!
Step Nine: Making Amends
If this is the case, seek the advice of a qualified treatment professional or licensed therapist. Family matters may be best addressed in a proper therapeutic setting when possible. Some people’s greatest wish may be that you remain sober and continue recovering. Others may prefer never to speak again or even wish you ill on the way out of the door. The future of your relationships is never guaranteed, but you will feel better knowing you have done your best to remedy your prior errors. Rushing into an amend that could bring hardship to our unsuspecting family, or to other third parties, is another mistake that people sometimes make.
What’s the Difference Between Making Amends and an Apology?
Providers who advertise with us must be verified by our Research Team and we clearly mark their status as advertisers. And it can be intimidating to be uncertain about how the other person will react. Many people find that the support they receive from AA meetings helps them prepare to make amends. Talking with your sober community about your history with drugs or alcohol can help you identify what you need to make amends for. Making amends helps repair relationship problems caused by addiction.
What is making amends in addiction recovery?
- Living amends refers to the ways in which you change how you live your life in recovery or “walking our talk.” These changes affirm your commitment to the direct or symbolic amends you made with others.
- Spero Recovery Center is a peer-based residential recovery program.
- It is a clear and purposeful act designed to clear up a problem from the past.
- It’s a transformational part of addiction recovery that takes courage, self-awareness, and a willingness to change.
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